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Posted by on in What If?

Overprotective Parent 650x325

“I walked or biked to school for years, but my children don’t. I worry about the road. I worry about strangers. You can start to imagine evil on every corner. I do think they’re missing out. But I like to be able to see them, to know where they are and what they are doing,” stated a mom in a newspaper article called “Bubble-Wrap Generation: Our Molly-Coddled Kids.”

“[I don’t know] one friend of mine who can actually walk across the street without parental supervision…. Parents these days are completely paranoid!” wrote a 12-year-old girl in a letter to the editor of the New York Times.

“My daughter was always outside as a child, but my grandchildren aren’t allowed to step outside the door,” said an audience member following one of my keynotes.

“Because you never know who might be lurking in the neighborhood,” responded a friend, when I asked why her son wasn’t allowed to play outside by himself.

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Posted by on in What If?

Yesterday, in my child development class, one of the students was curious about why people use the term, “terrible twos.” Instead of the automatic response I could have given, I decided maybe this was a good opportunity to clear the air about the second twelve months of a little child’s life.

It seems that age group gets a bad rap at every turn. Sure, we hear some negative comments about senior citizens (“old codgers,” “senile,” blue hairs”). And, for sure, millennials receive a good deal of criticism, too (“snowflakes, “trophy kids,” “entitled”). But usually, those attributes are individually earned and not always the immediate reaction upon hearing the general designation.

           old man                     millenn

The title of Twos, on the other hand, receives an on-the-spot heavy sigh, some snide remarks, and expressions of sympathy for the parents and caregivers. Not fair, I say. Because… although Twos are definitely a different animal, they are not really all that terrible.

I see Twos as being both a baby and a little child… with the benefits of both, including lots of cuddles, still being under a degree of parental control, having independence, and the ability to communicate. Plus, you don’t have many of the unfavorable aspects of either of these stages… the continual arguing over why we can’t wear a flimsy Halloween costume when it’s only 12 degrees outside or the constant needs of an infant.

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Posted by on in What If?

toddler music site 117 w640

Every child has his own best way of learning. If our goal is to support that, we can apply two models that address different aspects of learning, to meet each child where he is. But can they be used together? I believe they can and in so doing, will benefit a wide variety of preferences, learning styles, and strengths.

The Learning Style Model, developed by Dr. Rita Dunn, highlights five elements that affect learning: psychological, physical, social, environmental, and emotional. The model was intended to assist teachers in organizing the learning environment, to meet children’s individual needs and styles. Each of the elements encompasses several dimensions that impact each child in a different way. It’s Important to remember that the specific preferences a child may have are not static… they can and will change with age and can certainly be influenced by gender and culture.

Let’s take a look at some of these dimensions:

Psychological

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Posted by on in What If?

When children are little, they worry, but may not understand why. There may be no logical evidence to support it, but it is real to them, nonetheless. It is real enough to provoke a real nervous system response. Worry is anxiety.

It sometimes surfaces with a barrage of questions that seem to come out of nowhere. I remember one evening when my 5-year-old son started asking, “What if the chickens didn’t want to give their feathers away for people’s pillows?” “What if they get really cold because they have no more feathers?” “What if they come looking for their feathers and want them back?” “What if they’re really, really mad?” He had certainly worked up a good deal of anxiety about this. The next morning, when I came out of my bedroom, I saw his pillow on the floor, outside his door.

pillow

Our first response to something like this is always reassurance, followed by trying to invoke logic. When this doesn’t work (it seldom does), we become frustrated and give the child the message (through words and body language) they’re being silly and need to move on.

Let’s think of some of the knee-jerk comments we make to children who are anxious.

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Posted by on in What If?

A nearby community has a wonderful, play-based preschool cooperative. Several of the teachers are my former students and I was invited to attend their monthly meetings whenever I could… joining in conversations with staff and families about child development, preschool, parenting… life.

I’ve been to 4 of these sessions and so far, it’s been interesting to hear the kinds of things that concern both preschool teachers and parents.

Last Monday night, a mother told us about her oldest son, who was now in his second month of Kindergarten, having just turned 5 the day before he started. She said that although he had attended preschool three days a week prior, her son was having a difficult time transitioning to what the public school system was dishing out… moving into 5 full days a week, 8 hours a day. Besides the number and length of his days, it was also the intensity. He had to be fully engaged in academics the entire time, even during lunch. There was no “pause button” to his day. This was having a noticeable impact on him, both physically and emotionally. When he got home, she explained, she’d find him sprawled on the floor, exhausted. Being overtired wreaked havoc on his emotions and the emotional climate of their home. He was cranky and whiny, and often just started crying.

child misbehaving discipline 3

This mom was searching for some answers or any kind of help to smooth her son’s way into dealing with his daily school routine.

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